The Walk
by PanicButton
Summary: Reid takes a walk.  Angst and drugs.  Re edited and posted.


The Walk

He caught a train. He then caught a bus. Then hitched for a few miles. It had taken a long long time and his stomach complained of neglect. The wind was howling. The leaves were on the ground. He was walking home.

Reid walked.

He walked along the side of the road. His messenger bag over his shoulder. It was heavy. Everything was heavy.

The whole world must be in that bag today.

It was hurting his shoulder. Reid let the bag slip from his shoulder has he walked on steadily into the woods at the side of the road. The bag lay forgotten in the gutter. He kept checking his pockets. Each one in turn…over and over again. Left hand pocket. Right hand pocket. Trouser pockets. Continuously over and over. It was making his fingers sore, but the repetitive movement was somehow calming. How long had it been since he was last here?

He couldn't remember anymore. Georgia in the autumn was beautiful. If you liked trees and dark, and wet. Personally he was more used to the hot and blowy emptiness of Navada. Left hand pocket. Right hand pocket. Back trouser pocket. Small breast pocket on his shirt. Each checked in turn. In order.

The rain had finally stopped which was good. It meant now though that his glasses had started to steam up. Right hand, left hand, back. His wet hair hung down in wavy lumps over his sunken dirty face. His glasses were annoying him now. He would have to stop checking his pockets to sort them out.

Right hand, left hand, back. He swiped the glasses off his face sending them down to the forest floor. He stood and blinked and looked at his hands. His knuckles were red and swollen. His feet were wet. Wet feet. He could resolve that problem. Reid looked around squinting. His glances rested on a fallen tree, so slowly he walked towards it. Muttering. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."

Left shoe then right shoe removed…Socks followed. Reid tucked them safely inside the shoes. "I'm sorry." He muttered looking down at them, then down to his feet, then back to the shoes again. The young genius then stuffed his hands in his pockets to check all was ok, then stood up and started walking again.

SNAP:

It had been a long day and Gideon was glad that he was now at last at home listening to his music and drinking something better than cop shop coffee. Reid had called in sick three days ago, he should check up on him. He knew Reid hadn't looked very well. But when DID Reid look truly healthy?

He thought back to the time before. Before it happened. Back to when everyone was OK. Before Elle was shot. Before Reid was taken from them. He was still waiting for Reid to come back. Elle never came back. Not really. Would he ever see the young mans innocence again? He didn't think so. Too much had happened. Too much lost. Too much snatched away before they were ready.

Gideon picked up the phone and rang Reid's home number. It rang and rang, until the answer phone came on. "Sorry I am unable to take your call right now.

Please leave a message." It always said that.

Gideon knew that's what the machine would say. He was wrong. "Sorry. I am so sorry." Was all the message said. Suddenly worried and very awake, the older profiler grabbed a jacket…his keys, and left his apartment leaving the door to slam behind him.

SNAP:

Reid was on his hands and knees. He slowly and carefully removed his jacket, and transferred the things from his jacket to his pants pockets. "That's better."

Standing up again, leaving his jacket in the dirt and leaves he started to walk again. "My feet hurt." He mumbled to himself. "I should have kept my shoes on."

SNAP:

Gideon was pounding on Reid's apartment door, but when the knocks went un-answered he used a key off his key ring to unlock the door and entered the young agents apartment. It was a large place. Big rooms…high ceilings. Lots of books. Understatement. More then lots. It was a library.

Gideon checked Reid's rooms carefully. Seeing if there was anything out of place, being careful not to disturb anything. He was really hoping that Reid would be asleep, or in the shower, but the place was cold and empty. Every thing seemed to have been tidied away. A white envelope on the coffee table screamed at Gideon out of the corner of his eye. It was plain white and had Reid's writing on the front. To Gideon

SNAP:

Reid had arrived at last. He confirmed this by slamming his shin into a headstone. "Oh sorry" he mumbled. He almost seemed to slither his way back to under the tree where he had been all that time ago. The ground was still dented where he had begun to dig his grave.

"Tobias?" His voice was loud and anxious.

"Tobias?! I am sorry. I came back. Tobias forgive me."

The only answer was the howling wind, and now some more drops of rain. Reid sat in the dirt with his back against the big old tree. "I didn't mean to. I had no choice." He pulled his legs up tight to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. "I'm sorry."

SNAP:

_Dear Gideon_

_I tried. But I couldn't do it. I let you down. I let everyone down. I need to go back and see if I can start again. I am so sorry. I am just so tired now._

_Reid_

That was all that the letter said. But the alarm bells rang so loud in Gideon's ears that he thought they would bleed.

He grabbed his cell phone and speed dialled Reid's cell number.

SNAP:

A noise. Reid looked around, his eyes dull and empty bloodshot tired. Still the noise. His phone? He had a signal here? There wasn't at the house? But here, closer to the road. A cell phone signal? Curious he took his phone from his pocket and flipped it open. GIDEON it said. With a sigh, Reid put the phone to his ear and said "Reid" in a whisper.

SNAP:

Gideon was running back to his car talking on his cell phone "Where are you? Where? I cant hear you Reid. The signal must be bad. Reid? Yes it's me, it's Gideon. Where are you? Reid?" In the car now…ignition on. Moving away from Reid's apartment. "I don't understand you Reid. You are too quiet. Speak up. What? Why? How did you get there? Don't move. Stay there. I will send someone to get you."

SNAP:

Some ones coming to get me? I walked all this way, and someone will just come and get me? Reid started to sob into his knees. A low moaning keening sound from deep inside. Reid hadn't noticed that he had tied the rubber tube around his arm. He didn't notice getting the dilaudid out of his pocket and load the syringe. It was so automatic now. He didn't even think about it. Couldn't remember what it was like before he had this. He put the part used bottle on the ground next to him, and smiled at it, then sat sobbing looking at the needle in his hand. "Please." He said "Please help me." Then the needle was empty.

Reid lowered himself down into leaves. All he could hear was the wind blowing and his heart beating too fast. The ground slowly sliding away, as hands gripped his shoulders. "You came back boy?" NO….not him! Please not him! Reid crawled and dragged his drugged body along the ground as it tipped and swayed. He was going to fall. Slide off the ground. Someone was kicking him. "Don't crawl away from me boy." The pain in his head and stomach. He was going to die. Hankel was going to complete what he started. "I told you boy. Now lay still and let me finish what I started."

"Tobias help me."

SNAP:

That's how they found him. Laying foetal on the ground. The leaves had started to cover him. His face white. Blood had dried and crusted around his nose. Twitching. Foaming at the mouth.

SNAP:

Snap

Hospitals all have the same smell. This one was no different. It was a smell Reid would have to get used to. He was going to be here for a very long time. At least he got visitors. Gideon came to see him. Hotch came when he could. Every now and then Garcia would bound in with a grin on her face and a box of chocolates for her boy, and Morgan. Good old Morgan. Telling jokes. Laughing.

"He is still not responding to the medications." He could hear the doctors say. "There had always been a good chance this would happen to him."

"Everyone knows he is a freak." He could hear people say.

"He deserved it. He only got what was coming." They whispered

SNAP:

Morgan had just spent another long hour with Reid. Telling jokes, bringing him up to date with the general stuff that the team were up to. "You need to hurry up and get better Reid. We all miss you." But Reid had spent the hour staring into space. He didn't even seem to know that Morgan was there. Reid was always like this now. He had been for a couple of months. They knew he wasn't coming back to them. They all knew he had gone.

SNAP:

"Hey!" Reid grinned and patted the bed next to him…"Sit Tell me about your day." Reid sat and chatted, babbled, moaned, sobbed for about 3 hours. "It's always nice to see you Tobias." He said as he waved goodbye.

Then sat and stared.

Closed.

Empty.

Checking his pockets over and over again.

Broken.

SNAP


End file.
